Erin Bailey

There is a quiet, often unnamed transformation that occurs when a woman becomes a mother. It’s not just a physical shift, but an emotional, psychological, hormonal, and spiritual one. This change is known as matrescence – a word that, like adolescence, describes a gradual, layered process of becoming.

Unlike the well-recognised journey of adolescence, matrescence is rarely acknowledged in our culture. Yet every mother moves through it, navigating identity changes, body shifts, emotional ebbs and flows, and an ongoing reorientation of priorities, values, and relationships. It doesn’t begin and end with birth. For many women, it stretches through the first decade (or more) of motherhood, reshaping who they are in subtle and profound ways.

As a naturopath, matrescence coach, breastfeeding counsellor, and mother myself, I’ve seen how reconnecting with nature – particularly through the use of gentle herbal allies – can offer mothers a grounded, nourishing form of support on this long, evolving path.

Returning to Plant Wisdom

For generations, women have turned to plants for support during major life transitions: first menstruation, then pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause. The motherhood journey is no different. Herbs can be a beautiful way to care for ourselves in times when we are often stretched thin and giving endlessly to others.

Rather than focusing on "fixing" symptoms, herbal support invites us to slow down, tune in, and build daily rituals that nourish us from the inside out. These rituals don’t need to be complex or time-consuming – in fact, they’re often most effective when they’re simple, consistent, and woven gently into everyday life.

Ways to Work with Herbs in Motherhood

There are many ways to bring herbs into your mothering season that are safe, accessible, and deeply supportive. Below are a few traditional and commonly used methods.

Herbal teas and infusions

A warm cup of tea can offer a moment of pause in a busy day. Herbs like nettle, lemon balm, chamomile, and rose are often enjoyed as nourishing infusions, and many can be safely consumed while breastfeeding. Sipping tea becomes more than hydration – it becomes a ritual of care.

Sitz baths and steams

These gentle, warm baths made with herbs like calendula, lavender, and comfrey have long been used to soothe the body during the postpartum period. But beyond the early weeks, sitz baths can be a beautiful way to reconnect with your body and make space for rest, reflection, or even a bit of peace at the end of a long day.

Infused oils and balms

Herbal-infused oils can be used for self-massage, breast care, or even applied to little ones. Calendula oil, for example, is often used traditionally on dry skin or as a baby massage oil. Taking the time to apply oil to your own body can be a deeply grounding ritual, one that reminds us that we, too, are worthy of tending.

Tinctures and drops

For those with limited time (hello, all mothers), tinctures offer a quick and easy way to incorporate herbs into daily life. Herbs like ashwagandha, rhodiola, or shatavari are often prepared this way by herbalists and naturopaths. Always consult a qualified practitioner when exploring tinctures, especially when pregnant or breastfeeding.

Herbal baths and foot soaks

When a full bath isn't an option, a herbal foot soak can offer a surprising amount of relaxation. Adding a handful of lavender, rose petals, or lemon balm to warm water invites your nervous system to soften – even if your kids are banging on the bathroom door.

Herbs That Often Walk Alongside Mothers

While every woman’s journey through matrescence is unique, there are a few plants that have been long regarded as companions to mothers:

Nettle – A deeply nourishing plant often used in traditional medicine to support vitality and mineral replenishment.

Lemon balm – Light, lemony and uplifting; often enjoyed as a tea to help soften the edges of a busy mind.

Motherwort – Traditionally associated with heart and emotional steadiness; its name alone speaks volumes.

Chamomile – Gentle and calming, often used with children and adults alike. A warm cup before bed can mark a gentle close to the day.

Tulsi (Holy Basil) – Considered a sacred plant in Ayurveda, often used to support clarity and spiritual grounding.

Rose – Not just beautiful, but emotionally softening. Rose tea or a drop of rose-infused oil over the heart can feel like a hug from within.

Slowing Down in a Fast-Paced Season

Herbs remind us that healing doesn’t need to be hard. It can begin with a pause. A breath. A teacup. A soak. A returning to ourselves – moment by moment.

So much of motherhood pulls us outward: to meet needs, to hold others, to keep things running. But we too are deserving of support. Herbs can offer a steady, earth-based reminder of that truth. They ask nothing of us, and yet they give generously. They don’t demand perfection, only presence.

Closing Thoughts

Matrescence is not a stage to be rushed through, nor a challenge to be solved. It is a rite of passage – a slow becoming. When we bring herbal rituals into this journey, we honour that slowness. We create space to be with ourselves, to nourish rather than neglect, and to root into our own unfolding.

May you find comfort in the cup, peace in the petals, and strength in the soil beneath your feet. And may the plants remind you that you are never alone on this path.